I was going to make a cute aesthetic fall post with mine and Honey's matching corduroy dresses and some pumpkins (Honey calls them "papas", sooooo cute!), but I'm not feeling fall honestly.
I'm not even feeling joyful.
I kinda feel like crying.
Weeping, to be more specific.
As I'm writing this, I'm 33 weeks pregnant and I have a 1 1/2 year old toddler who is sick with a cough and congestion. It makes sleeping very tricky--right now for both of us.
Your girl is tired.
Your sister is weary.
I'm honored to crawl out of bed at 1:00am to rock my daughter back to sleep because she can't breathe out of her nose lying down.
But I cry while I hold her because I'm tired.
I pray over and over again for God to heal her because I'm pregnant and exhausted and I need sleep, too.
Some women have military husbands, no husband, or like me, a student husband and we are left alone during the day or night (or both) to handle all the toddler woes of the day/night, all while handling the regular changes of being a woman: period cramps, endometriosis, pregnancy nausea, belly bump maneuvering, breastfeeding/pumping, mental illness, Zoom meetings, everything. Even postpartum mamas, experiencing the emptiness inside of their womb and feeling all the hormones drop suddenly while you're up every hour making sure your baby is breathing, fed and changed. It's. A. Lot.
And we are shamed for wanting a good night's sleep despite all of what our body goes through during the day.
Well, mama, if you're weary like me, I'm here to encourage you to let those exhausted
tears fall.
Mine have been falling for four days now and they just keep on coming.
You can love your baby(ies) to the moon and back and still cry because you're tired.
Husbands/boyfriends, we see you.
We see you working hard from the crack of dawn until dinner or later. We see you fighting for our country or standing on your feet all day saving someone's life.
We are so grateful for all that you're doing and we are honored to be standing by your side raising our children!
This post isn't to shift blame to your spouse or point fingers at who's stronger or working harder.
This letter is to empower you, Mama, to feel the feelings you want to feel and let. those. tears. fall.
Sometimes that's all we have to do.
And mama, if you need a shoulder to cry on, look around you.
I'm sure there are a thousand women in your community who need to know they're not alone.
There are also women who are:
Throwing up over and over while their toddler cries outside the bathroom door wanting Mama.
Trying to get sooo many chores or work done during nap time but the cramps are unbearable.
Trying to do homework but they feel guilty for not spending time with their baby (who is quite content playing by themself.)
Or, the one that I'm currently going through:
Wanting to sleep through the night because they're just a few weeks away from giving birth and their toddler is sick and up in the night needing cuddles.
The list goes on and on and on.
Cry those tears and crawl into the lap of Jesus.
He promises us that we will find rest with him when we are weary:
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble at heart, and you will find rest for your souls." Matthew 11:28-29
Mama, I pray this over you-over us- today, that in our weariness and fatigue from the everyday life with children, that we will find rest.
I love you, Mama.
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