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a letter to you, my beloved

week four: beautiful mama

prayers for pregnancy

Not going to lie, it's been a really rough week over here at the Vaught household.

I've had this message on my heart for five days but I haven't been able to sit and compose it because there's been one thing after another and I haven't had any time to myself.

Even my morning quiet time hasn't been just mine, I've had to share it with one or both of my little loves!

My sweet hubby skipped a class to let me slip out twice to get groceries and I'm so grateful for those two hours of alone time.


But here I am, tornado warnings going off around us and my toddler fighting sleep again and dang it- I will compose this here and now!




Side note: I think the tornado sirens are symbolic for the emotional storms raging inside of me. Seriously, it's been a rough week.


Anyways, let's talk about this word that's been on my heart that is absolute fire.

I will write it like a letter, because that's exactly how the Holy Spirit spoke it to me.

So just sit back and let this sit in your heart.

Oh, and grab some tissues.


My Beloved,

I know you're hurting.

I see the pain in your eyes and I hear the grief in your voice every time you fall on your knees and cry out to Me.

I know that pregnancy test keeps coming back negative.

I see how many times you've lost your babies.

Come to me, my child.

I understand that sometimes it's hard for you to remember your worth, which makes it especially easy to believe lies when Satan comes along and whispers into your ear that you are unworthy and that your body is defective because it won't get pregnant.

Cry, my love.

I can take the blame, the curse words, the accusations over and over, I'm strong enough to take your anger. But the one thing I ask that you remember in all of this...

Is that I love you.

I died for you, my beloved.

And I did not die on the cross so that you would believe Satan's lies spoken into your ear, feeding the insecurities in your heart until they try to form your identity.

Why do you allow Satan's words to carry weight in your heart when he does not love you at all?

His words mean nothing.

He is a thief, murderer, destroyer and and the father of lies.

I am the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords.

Immanuel. Messiah.

Shouldn't My words mean more to you than his?


He says you are not capable, you are not good enough, you are not made for this.

He says you are a failure.


I say that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:13-14)

I say that you are altogether beautiful, my darling. (Song of Solomon 4:7)

I say that you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you. (Isaiah 43:4)


In this world you will have trouble, my beloved, but take heart because I have overcome the world. (John 16:33)

All of these things will work together for good because you love God. (Romans 8:28)

I know it's all confusing now, but my Father in Heaven has plans for you through all of this that you might not understand until you are in His Throne Room one day.


Your body is not defective.

You're not unworthy, unwanted or unseen.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

Did Esther know the path the Lord was taking her on when she became queen?

Did Abraham understand God's plan when he took his son Isaac up the mountain to sacrifice him when God asked him to?

No.

But they trusted God with all of their hearts and they did not lean on their own understanding.


Come to me, my child, and I will give you rest.

Cry until you can't anymore.

Take comfort in Me.

God is working all things out for those who love Him.


"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,

neither are your ways my ways,”

declares the Lord.

“As the heavens are higher than the earth,

so are my ways higher than your ways

and my thoughts than your thoughts." -Isaiah 55:8-9


-Jesus



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