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don't give shame a seat

Week 5: strong mama

Prayers & encouragement for labor and delivery


Today is week 5 of our "birth class" and we are now shifting focus from pregnancy to labor and delivery.

Labor affirmations, encouragement, prayers and everything in between is one of my heart's cries.


Today we are addressing shame during labor.

So many women have labors they did not expect or even want.

Some women have tragic life-or-death situations that arise during labor and they have to have an emergency c-section.

Even some women don't produce breast milk.

Some women tear and need stitches.

Some women are emotionally abused in hospitals and experience trauma.


We are carriers of life and therefore labor is one of our biggest attacks - during our weakest moment - from Satan.


It's important to remember that shame is not from Jesus.

How you deliver your baby should never, under any circumstance feel shameful or disappointing.

Society makes it sound like vaginal birth is the only way to deliver a baby if you truly love them and if you have a C-section you either failed as a mother or you should be very disappointed in yourself.

Wrong.

Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, w r o n g.

Those accusations are so many shades of wrong they cover an entire spectrum.


Your body went through 9 months of carrying a living, breathing human being.

You then went through hours of labor.

Exhaustion is an understatement.

Food? What is that?

Water is only a distant memory.

Maybe the epidural didn't work.

Or maybe you're opting for a natural birth but they increase your Pitocin to start labor and as the contractions are coming hard and fast you need something to ease the pain.

And then the doctor comes in and tells you you're failing to progress and they need to cut you open.


You just want to hold your baby.

You just want it to be over.


And then the shame hits you out of nowhere.

"Why didn't my body do what it was supposed to?"

"Why couldn't my body be normal?"

"I should have been strong enough to handle the contractions."

"Why can't my body nourish my baby?"



Girl.

Please don't believe the lies that you are a failure for having a c-section.


I know so many women that feel like failures or have a really hard time accepting the fact that they had a c-section.


Don't.


How your baby is born does not determine your relationship with your baby and if we take it one step further, it does not define your relationship with Jesus, either.

It doesn't mean you didn't pray hard enough, it doesn't mean you didn't have bold enough prayers.


In fact, quite the opposite is happening: in all of the hurt and disappointment, the Lord is near.

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those crushed in spirit,"

Psalm 34:18

He is not far from you because you "didn't pray hard enough" or whatever Satan tries to tell you.

We live in a fallen world where our bodies will be attacked when bringing life into the word and our minds will be attacked to keep us from bonding with that life.

But like I said earlier, those thoughts and feelings are not from Jesus!

Jesus says that you are, "precious and honored in my sight, and I love you." (Isaiah 43:4)

"There is therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." Romans 8:1.


Thank you, Jesus, that you are alive and healthy and that your baby is alive and healthy!

Thank you, Jesus, that we don't have to let shame condemn us and affect our relationship with you or our baby.


Shame, you may not have a seat at my table.

This table is reserved for people who speak life into me, not condemnation.

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